Consolidating

wwdoveStudio

I once again find myself with little time and too much to do.

I had been maintaining 2 websites, one for general writing and creative pursuits and another simply for my personal writing. However, I have found that I am updating neither.

On top of that, because of the custom domains (which I love) it costs me double. Instead of one free blog, I have 2 paid sites! Yikes.

So I am going to consolidate into one paid blog – so I can keep my domains – and have both domains point to this one site. That way if I get more time, publish, or find any other reason to have two web presences again, I will still own both domains.

My site plan is up in August I believe, so I’m not sure if I will switch the domain over then, but I will begin using wwdovestudio.com exclusively as…

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Yesterday

We all have those days.

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Photo by Carl Attard on Pexels.com

Yesterday, I was feeling so sorry for myself. So jealous of everyone else. I forgot that we are all in this together.

Thank you to all the people who have supported my efforts, great and small, and put up with my moods.

I am really not that bad (I don’t throw things or lie in bed for days), but I can be a drag to be around. I will try not to let that Grinch out too much any more.

Reflections

It’s the end of the year. Almost.

One week to go. It’s that time when people look back on what they’ve experienced, look forward to the next year, maybe resolve to do something better or different.

New beginnings. Sure, most resolutions won’t last long, but they make people feel renewed, inspired.

I feel drained. Lost. Alone. What lies behind me are half-hearted attempts, wasted efforts, and unfinished dreams.

I’ve always been the ‘glass half empty’ type, and I feel like even that half is dribbling away. So many setbacks and struggles in 2018. So many tears. And yet, I have so much more than so many others, why do I wallow so?

It is never enough. Someone else has a better website, more followers, cleverer messages. I don’t post regularly, write daily. My time is limited by a full-time job, and yet I should be thankful I have a full-time job.

I have an awesome son, so why do I feel lonely? I know I have so little time to cultivate friendships, online or in real life, yet I am sad when I see all the threads on twitter I haven’t had time to join, see all the fun they’ve had.

Jealousy. Self-pity.

Goals and dreams lie unfulfilled. I haven’t revised my first draft, while others are getting agents and publishing. My plan to lose weight derailed weeks ago.

Garbage in, garbage out.

That feels about right. I tell myself that it’s okay, I don’t have to live up to someone else’s standards, I have too many other responsibilities to put more on myself. But then I see how much others have accomplished and I feel small and insignificant. What I have done is never enough.

I am never enough. Someone is smarter, faster, prettier, has more friends. Everything about me that I have accepted as who I am, that I have told myself is okay, flies right out the window and crashes on the pavement.

But if I only think positive thoughts, I will become positive.

I keep waiting.